10 ways to reclaim your self esteem-
The way you feel about yourself
impacts how and why you do everything in life. If you feel good about who you
are, then what you do will be an outside reflection of your innermost thoughts
and feelings. Contrary to popular belief, self-esteem is not something anyone or
any accomplishment can give you. Just because people like you or you receive an
award, does not mean that you will love and take care of yourself. Positive
self-esteem comes from within and does not change because the
scenery or circumstances change. To have esteem for something or someone is to
regard highly or favorably. High self-esteem is relatively stable even when the
forecast looks foreboding.
Your self-esteem is like a star at night that shines brightest when it is the
darkest. It is your inner light that burns brightly and freely no matter what is
happening around you. A zen saying reminds us: "What was your original face
before you were born?" Self-esteem is perfectly intact when we are born, in
fact, it is inherent to us; however, it often diminishes over the course of our
childhood. We lose a little of it whenever we fail, make mistakes, misbehave,
feel guilty, refuse to forgive, neglect ourselves, and/or do things we are
ashamed of. As an adult, we sometimes feel as if our "self" is in pieces--- that
we are somehow not whole and complete.
This is not true. We are whole and complete even with our missing pieces and
broken parts. We just need to decide to gather up ourselves up and become whole
again. I am willing to bet that when you look back over your life, the first
thing that comes to mind are the regrets, the sad times in your past. Do you see
the pieces of yourself lying along the path of your life? The ones where you
didn't feel good enough, or where you were criticized or blamed by someone else?
But have you ever stopped to look at the memories of when you won the prize,
felt really great, on top of the world---those moments that prove what a
wonderfully amazing human being you are? Try it right now, write down 10 things
you are most proud of.
It is your birthright to love and honor yourself. The good news is that you can
reclaim that which is yours.
What follows are 10 Ways to Reclaim Your Self-Esteem:
1. Define life success
One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to define your
criteria for life success. This requires reflecting on what the key elements are
and the experiences you wish to have.
2. Choose to be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. The Dalai Lama says that the very purpose of life
is to seek happiness. He believes that if you train the mind to be happy, you
will be. Likewise, you can train yourself for higher self-esteem.
3. Set challenging goals
How much you like yourself is often reflected in the level of goals you will set
for yourself. Generally, people who like themselves and feel valuable, set
higher and more challenging life goals.
4. Honor your core values5.
People with high self-esteem seem to have a reservoire of energy, and seldom get
sick or let life's set backs keep them down. Their energy and enthusiasm for
life encourages them to take care of their body, mind, and spirit.
5. Enhance your energy
People with high self-esteem seem to have a reservoire of energy, and seldom get
sick or let life's set backs keep them down. Their energy and enthusiasm for
life encourages them to take care of their body, mind, and spirit.
6. Maintain a positive attitude
Attitude determines your altitude. The more positive your thinking, the more
positive your feelings, the more positive the outcome. There is nothing more
powerful and creative than your thoughts, so you may as well make them positive
and uplifting.
7. Be passionate
Passion takes hold of you and feels like "fire in the belly." It is a source of
power that enables you to get fired about life and make a difference. The more
passion and zest you feel, the more alive and brightly lit you are.
8. Live by vision and work with purpose
When you know your life vision and purpose, life has more meaning and direction.
Vision and purpose provide a sense that you matter, that you have a part to
play, and that you truly belong here.
9. Reward success
Set yourself up for success by breaking big goals into daily action steps and
take time to acknowledge and celebrate the small successes. This will feed your
need for recognition and provides the extra push to keep you moving forward.
10. Make smart life decisions
When you care about yourself, you make smarter decisions. You take care to
choose the right mate, occupation, and lifestyle that support you.
Self-esteem is an inner state that can be nurtured and cultivated. The National
Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) defines self-esteem as the experience of
being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness. That
definition underlines two key things: going after goals and choosing happiness.
Another definition is the level that you respect and value yourself as a
loveable, worthwhile human being.
Your self-esteem contributes to your vitality, energy level, persistence, and
personal magnetism. It is not to be confused with "self-image," which is the
comparison of those around you. Self-image is about what is on the outside and
causes you to judge yourself and others. It changes whenever the wind blows.
This fosters competition and fragmentation.
Self-esteem is about what is on the inside, a belief in yourself and your
abilities. Positive esteem focuses on acceptance of self and others. It remains
constant despite the storm. This fosters cooperation and wholeness.
It is common to have high self-esteem in one area of life, like career, but not
in others. The highest form of self-esteem is when you can accept all of
yourself--- strengths, weaknesses, best/worst parts, and overall, still feel
good about who you are and what you do. Someone with a strong sense of worth
will believe in herself, take more risks, say and do nice things for self and
others, can let things go, not take everything so personal, forget the bad and
focus on the good in life.
How do you feel about yourself right now?
10: perfectly happy with my whole self
to 5: moderately happy with my whole self
to 1: not at all happy with my whole self
If you are less than a 10, commit to using one of these tips today and feel your
esteem rise, create a stronger sense of self, and reclaim your inner
power. You deserve to feel great!
_______________________________________________________________________________
Author -Michelle Casto
About The Author
Michelle L. Casto is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker, and Author of
the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight
Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers
them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Visit virtually:
www.brightlightcoach.com or www.getsmartseries.com. Call for a Complimentary
Coaching session (361) 816-0685.
coach@brightlightcoach.com
Copyright Michelle Casto -
www.brightlightcoach.com